Monday, November 16, 2009

I slept with a boy last year. is it wrong to contact him again?

i slept with this boy last year in NYC (i live on the west coast) (i met him through a friend and it we hooked up immediately) we kept in touch for a while (about a week) and then didnt bother. last week i randomly sent him a message on an online social network. he messaged back saying i should call. i told some friends this and they think im desperate for having contacted him. i think i have nothing to lose but they are making me reconsider. im not sure what i want from this. and i dont even know why im thinking about it so much. maybe im just thinking about it too much and thats where my problem lies. any suggestions? any words of wisdom? thank you all!

I slept with a boy last year. is it wrong to contact him again?
If he said he wants you to call and you want to call then call. You're right, you have nothing to lose.





I don't think it makes you look desperate. People get all wrapped up in trying not to look too needy that we tend to become too aloof and too concerned about what our friends think.





You sound pretty reasonable about it. You sound like you don't have expectations but are curious.





It may well turn out that you call him and realize you have no interest in him beyond this curiosity.





If, for whatever reasons, he thinks you are desperate what does it matter as he's 3,000 miles away? And if he doesn't actually want you to call why would he say he did? As far as I'm concerned that'd be his problem, not yours.





You have what he says and you think to go on. Assume he has the strength of character to say what he means and trust yourself.





Just call him already.
Reply:why?
Reply:he might be happy to hear from u so just send him a message and how old r u anyway hahah wow thats crazy u hook up and no contact hahah nice
Reply:Do you want to sleep with him again?
Reply:Well you hooked up, had sex and that was it. Maybe you just want closure or maybe you want to see if there are anything there to pursue. Either way it's ok. I wish you the best of luck!
Reply:it depends on why you want to contact him, if you just want to have fun then you should reconsider but if you think you have feelings for him go ahead, wait but do you know how he feels about you?
Reply:go for it! dont make it look like uve been thinking about him for a long time....be like "i got to thinkin about u the other day and thought id see how uve been"........keep it casual at first and see where it goes. if u can clearly see that its not gonna amount to anything but friends, then keep it at that. dont feel desprate though...it doesnt seem like u are.
Reply:theres no harm in chatting. ive kept up a friendship with someone that i hooked up with that is way far away. its just fun if u two get a long and like speaking to eachother AND realize that nothing will come of it. if you just leave your heart at the door and realize that your just socializing for fun, there can be no harm.
Reply:What do you want out of it? ( you said you are not sure, you need to nail that down)





Long distance doesn't usually work out.





Be honest with yourself %26amp; be honest with him in regards to what you are looking for.





Good luck.
Reply:u want to contact him u can, its not a bad thing to do, maybe u both need closure and all!
Reply:There is no reason in the world why any ones opinion about a guy you like affect how you feel. If you like him call him. If you don't don't . I am sure your friends have all done some thing you did not think was cool or a good thing to do but they did it any way. My suggestion don't let what they think bother you. You do what you feel is right.


Good luck Hun
Reply:Why are you letting your friends run your life? This is not their business





If you like him; call him.
Reply:its ok .you can contact him again.
Reply:it was what it was.a quickie you had fun so don't regret it.time to move on.long distant relationships have a high rate of failure.----although new yorkers got it going on.(i am a nyc man )
Reply:To me it depends on your age..Also if you like him contact him, he said please do..Make sure he does not want to see you again just because you slept with him. If you are going to be in his area I woud be wary of his motive otherwise he just may like you. If you are both of the same age then chat with him for a while and see where he is coming from. If you are both underage, stay away...
Reply:I say go for it and talk with him. If he did not make you fell any less of yourself and wants to be your friend then go for it. If he though any less of you then he probably would not have responded. Good Luck.
Reply:no, i think you should... its okay i think


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