How can we best teach our kids to be streetwise and safe when they’re online?

Messaging, social networking and other internet services offer children and young people fantastic opportunities to express themselves, be creative and develop new skills. But kids can sometimes share too much information about themselves in order to be ‘cool’ online and people they communicate with may not be who they say they are. How do we get kids to take these risks seriously without taking the fun out of the internet?





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How can we best teach our kids to be streetwise and safe when they’re online?
i don't think that sharing information about themselves would make them 'cool' - sharing an address or whatever doesn't give you kudos i wouldn't have thought.





parents need to ensure that they know what there child is doing, yes, you can use things like net nanny and those sorts of things but they aren't really any substitute for a parent sitting down with their child and using the computer together.





you don't mention how old the 'kids' are you're talking about, until children are at an age where they understand the risks associated with internet use they should not be left alone to roam the web freely.





it's a learning process as with anything else - you wouldn't let a young child out to wander around the streets on their own, first you teach them how to stop at the kerb, how to look for traffic, about stranger danger and when they're old enough and understand the dangers you let them go round the corner to the shop on their own (probably while spying on them!). it's the same with internet access - it's about parents being responsible.
Reply:The best way to teach our children is to spend quality time with them and give them one to one guidelines when using the internet and point out to them the danger areas when they get near them. Unfortunately us adults have all learned by our mistakes but in the climate we now live in it is to dangerous to allow them to do this.
Reply:I think the starting point is for parents to start taking the internet's social side more seriously, there are far too many who just brush it off as just a white/black/grey box in the corner the kids use. I can't see any child taking advice from an adult who hasn't got a clue what they are on about, children aren't as clueless or short sighted as quite a few adults seem to think and your average 8 to 14 year old fully understands that mum and dad doesn't know the first thing about computers.
Reply:You wouldn't let your child wander around the country by themselves and the same should apply to the internet, be aware of where your child is going on the net and monitor what they are doing and who they are talking to, just as you would in real life. Do not use the computer as a babysitter, it is an excellent tool but also a clever and sly seducer - check where the children are going on the net and where they have been - also be comp savvy yourself so that the kids can't be less that honest with you about what they are doing on the internet - if you can't be bothered to learn about it yourself maybe you shouldn't have one n the house. If your child is going to a friends house and using their comp, be sure that the parents are aware and keeping an eye on whats happening.
Reply:i think that by explaining the fact


that everyone whatever age they are


has to be conscious about security


be it personal info or financial info


whilst on the Internet and indeed in real


life outside on the high street


is a important part of everyday life


and should always be taken seriously


and explain a big amount of your trust


in them as their parents is being given/shown


in letting them use the internet unaided


and more freedom to use the pc


will be given/awarded as the child shows he/she


can surf responsibly and carefully


write a list of 10 things not to do


and make the child adhere to them by


awarding/forfeiting how they use the computer


in accordance to how seriously they abide


by your 10 rules over a agreed period


of time.with a review maybe every 6 mnths or so.
Reply:As an experienced adult chatter in a recognised Chat Room, I have learned two things which I have passed to my teenage daughter.





Firstly, people on the internet can pretend to be anyone they want to be, can project a profile of either sex, any age they wish to be seen as and very much anything else you can think of. This is what children need to be told - you never know who you are really talking to, so always be on your guard and stay alert.





Secondly, if anyone wants to talk privately with you - you must ask yourself, what would they want to say that they can't say in front of others.





I think it is important not to alienate kids by presenting the internet as a dark place that results in them being unable to talk openly to parents, friends and family but to chat together about the wonderful opportunities available by having access to various learning and fun sites, along with being aware of the unfortunate possibilities of meeting unsavoury people.





Most kids with internet access already have good grounding on staying safe ie don't talk to strangers and certainly not meet people without adult supervision in the real world, and if they are reminded that this applies to the internet also, their instinct should come into play, with the support of open communication with parents in particular.
Reply:I have the PC in our living area so that I can monitor what they are up to also Parental Control, but as with every thing you can never be sure and only hope that you have made them aware of all the dangers. Sadly there are horrible people out there as we know who beyond my understanding make it their lifes work to come up will all kind of devious plans.We all try our best to stay one step ahead but it doesn't seem to be enough.
Reply:Common sense needs to be instilled in children, just like the days when we were told not to speak to strangers or accept lifts in strangers cars. These ideals just need to be altered for the internet age.


Simply .. Do not give out personal details, like phone numbers, address, postcodes etc. Do NOT allow children to assume sleazy names for ids and beware of use of Web-cams.


All common sense values.
Reply:Yeah ! About time we got one of these questions. Great stuff ! I heard someone say once that there are so many people who are on the internet - how do we know who is real anymore ?





It is crucial that any strategy to make kids savvy about safe internet use is that we don't talk down to them, we engage their interest, they pick up skills which they appreciate, ( because their confidence are boosted and they have a lot of fun at the same time. (The fun bit should be seen as just as important as the acquisition of skills, because that will encourage habit formation.)





One idea, ( you may well have it on your list already,) is to create a computer simulated game. The game presents real-life situations that have occured. ( Every situation should have a bio that they can refer to and compare their actions with real people as well as a reality check to see when and how things really happen or don't happen.)


Now, the internet is about making choices, right ? : When you are seaching for something, what are the best key words to punch in ? How does one website compare with another ? Is this person for real ? et.al Players choose a situation from a list that they feel is close to their own interests and needs or it might just sound interesting. They are given a finite number of choices of actions which unfortunately isn't what always happens in the real cyber world. ( Did I just say that ?) Now with every decision, as in life, there is a consequence of that decision. Such consequences occur because there is a cause/effect relationship and others occur because of chance. Consequences may be favourable or not - serious or trivial.Both senarios are programmed into the game. Levels are attained by successful, i.e. safe actions.





However, as a rider to this suggestion : The game should be designed for different age levels so that consequences not only reflect needs and interests but the age of the user. Issues raised in the game should relate to their needs and wants but formatted in such a way that the activities are appropriate to the maturity of the user.





Another idea is a kind of helpline that young people can access in order to make informed decisions. The cyberworld can be pretty lonely and even scary. Imagine being a child and multiply the intensity of the feeling by any factor. The helpline would provide accurate, easy to understand information and advice and it would be confidential. ( Who in their right mind would ask some of the questions we'd like to ask, if it got back to our parents ! - or someone else that knows us.) Sporting, musical, ( or whatever,) celebrities would openly openly sponsor your organization and goals to lend to your clients, the kind of credibility they would trust.





Hope that helped. Good luck with this. It's vital that you get to the growing number of younger users of internet services before the dark side does.
Reply:In order to be 'cool' . No, i dont think that IS why we do it. ( I presume you include teenagers like me in this!) What we say to be cool (actually, not me, but most) That we drink WKD and all that. When we share information it is just so that we can stay in contact with out friends etc. There should be limits on websites that 'children' under 18 cannot share there address, and where they live. Although a lot of teenagers do put e.g SW ENG or S Wales, or 'hell' (haha) I do agree that some are nieve in there giving out of information. But as i said above, if you restrict them teenagers will obviously break the boundaries, but if its PHISCALLY impossible, they can't.
Reply:http://www.pcpandora.com/ is a good peice of software to start with, although a teenager will realise it is there, they won't be able to bypass it unless they know the password.


Too many parents know too little about compters, they leave it up to their children to become the experts then complain that they don't know what their child is doing online. Parents need to learn, they need to keep their computer skills ahead of their childrens skills, otherwise they are simply abdicating responsability for their childrens' safety.


There are plenty of scare stories out there, keeping lines of communication open with your child and discussing what might happen is a necessity. More children will be harmed and abused though by adults they know, often in their own home. While not understating the danger of the internet parents need to make their children aware of dangers much closer to home. Again communication is the key. Children need to be able to approach their parents anytime about any subject. It's never too early to spend time just talking with and listening to your children.





The following website gives good practical advice for parents http://www.perverted-justice.com/guide/?...
Reply:I can remember years ago when we went to Saturday Morning Pictures and my Mum knew all about the 'strange' people that also went. The only thing that we were given was a 'hat pin' that we kept on our clothing and should a man try and touch us in the dark of the cinema, we would take the pin off our lapel and 'stab' his hand with it. We were made aware that there was a danger but we had not idea at the age of about ten exactly what that danger was! And I had my baby sister along with me to protect who is four years younger than me.





Kids grow up too fast these days. They have no real childhood in which to learn. They go from being an infant to being (or expected to be, at least) an adult, with all the knowledge that comes with it. Girls wear make-up at far too young an age. Sex education seems to start at about seven years old!





It is wrong to TEACH our kids to be 'streetwise.' It is something that they have to learn - and this can only be done through a proper 'growing up' cycle.





The internet can be a bad thing as well as good. Our young should not be sitting in front of a computer 'talking' to people, they should be out in the fresh air and really communicating! The internet for information is fine. The internet for communication is not good at all for the young! It probably isn't really good for adults, either!





If the kids really must use a computer for communication, then make sure that they are using email with people already known to them and their family.





Take a look at some of the abusive answers on Yahoo! This is a pretty safe site. If it can get that bad here, then I dread to think how bad it can get elsewhere!





Put kids where they belong - playing with Barbie dolls or tin soldiers! Play is a very valuable learning process.
Reply:On line children should not have to be aware but as there are perverts who scan the net for these children it is very hard.


I know the goverment are going to have all nickname of people who are on the sex offenders registar which is good but what about the ones that have not been caught/ the only way to monitor this is to be with your children when they are on the net but that still does not stop who may be on the other end. it is a a very hard task to stop this. I only hope they can succeed. The other way is to register people on a internet register that has to be filled in when they take out an internet cover like Broadband


and this shoould all apply for DNA everyone should be screened and from birth then unsolved crimes may be solved.


Its getting bad when we have to watch our children day and night but to keep them safe then so be it.
Reply:We as parents need to be involved and monitor what they do, as well as making them aware of the issues and implications of what they do on the internet. There is a brilliant team in america which is called the Isafe organisation, this has tutorials and explains a lot of stuff to parents in relation to the internet and also gives examples of situations that have arisen in the past, some sad and it also shows parents how easy it is for a child to be located by a number of different methods.


I have shown both of my children the examples on this site and we have discussed the issues with each other, i am happy that they are educated now and understand the implications of entering personal info over the internet.


Also there is a program named K9 web protection which is a very good free parental control application which allows you to customise how it works and gives you a bit more peace of mind.


I think most importantly any computer that a child is using should be situated where you as parent's can monitor it(living room) where you can check / take an interest whenever you wish to.


We have to protect the children and not just give them access to the internet and think how nice it is not to be disturbed by them!, i work on the principle that if they are quiet, they are probably up to no good.
Reply:Most kids nowadays just have friends from school on msn, or ppl they know. It all depends on how mature the child is. The internet allows things to be kept private and places such as msn allow you to block unwanted contacts, but it is the child who has to want this to actually do it. The option is there.





Personal details-wise, giving out names or e-mail addresses aren't too bad. E-mail addresses can be changed and names are common in this world. There is at least 15 John Smith's in the world. Birthdays aren't too bad either, minus the year. The only thing you should make sure that isn't on the internet is addresses. As long as every detail is from online, and can not go any further then online such as e-mail, things should be ok. But again, it really all depends on the child.
Reply:thank you very much, your advice is spot on,I always tell my son if you don't think something is right,do not respond to it,which I know he doesn't,and he can tell me if he isn't comfortable with anything,thank you,
Reply:Firstly, no-one has wanted to be cool, since Fonzie was on TV. It's like the motto "It's cool to be in school" to try and prevent bunking. The kids just look at it and go "eh?" Please try to keep up with the kids of today, Doc!





I am just brutally honest with my kids, I see no benefit in sugar coating it. Cases like the three men gaoled for planning to kill two girls in woods, serve as good ammunition with kids. "See? There are people like that in this world, and more so on the internet"





There is a saying "The Internet... where men are men, women are also men, and children are FBI agents"
Reply:you can install parental guides and all sorts of things but there comes a time when a child will explore past them boundaries and a good understanding between parent and child and a sort of little contract you go on the net but don't do any thing if these guides are broken take it away from them till they learn no kid can be taught to be street wise against these monsters they are bloody clever and a child i believe has a right to keep in touch with the modern world so maybe it is not the child who needs teaching but your self look up saftey and warning signs on the net Dave
Reply:Asking known paedophiles for their email addresses and passwords is akin to giving under-aged joy-riders a driving ban! IT WON'T STOP THEM! Why should they even be allowed anything less than public access to the internet, make them use a cyber cafe where they are more likely to be noticed behaving badly! If they HAVE to have internet access at home them make it a fixed IP address and monitor it or have the ISP limit it to essential web addresses only! That's another issue by the way, it's all well and good stopping paedophiles but the ISP's are still making money on the back of this, they should be forced to take more responsibility!
Reply:i think it is just common sense! but schools need to do alot more!


when i was at school(i left in 2004) we never once ever learned about the dangers of the Internet and the word paedophile was never mentioned, we all just knew. if kids are told and choose not to listen it's their own fault really, and if they don't know then why not! and as for all these perverts being free and in community's and becoming teachers, it's disgusting!
Reply:There is always a risk factor with the Internet,just like there is always a risk when children are out on the street!


By taking the time to speak to, and to advise, and to teach their children, parents can educate children to the dangers!


It's like the "don't talk to strangers" advice!





Establish a loving bond with your children, and they will respect and confide with you, and if they are contemplating something, they will come to you and ask advice!


Too many parents are indifferent to their children, and what they are doing, and that's when tragedy strikes.
Reply:simple, either ban pornography completely from society or make it extremely difficult for people to access it.
Reply:Being safe online isn't much different from being safe in the real world. The key is parental involvement and some straight talk between the parent and the kids. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children has a great wealth of resources that will help a parent understand what the real dangers are.





http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/s...
Reply:It's really sad that common sense is no longer common!


Unfortunately many kids are too trusting online, whereas they wouldn't be in real life.


I remember being at school and having 'stranger danger' workshops where it was drilled into us that we mustn't talk to strangers at all or give out information about ourselves.


Schools could be doing far more to help kids be safe using the internet by applying workshops like these to online usage. After all, no parent can be with their child every second of the day, but hopefully good education by them in partnership with their schools should help them to stay safe online
Reply:When my grandson was about 8, I reminded him not to speak to strangers. he said....'what are strangers gran, I don't know what they are.'


I had to explain that they are people that you have never met before. I wonder how many other children think strangers are monsters or the like. I found it worrying.
Reply:It has recently been in the news that the Government is thinking of introducing to the curriculum, other languages for kids to learn/study, surly their IT studies should be upgraded in some way as to protect/educate/ understand better, the obvious risks while being on line, as well as essential parent involvement, who knows some parents might have their eyes opened with what the kids have learned about safety on line, the technology is out there, lets use the technology to beat these criminals etc.
Reply:In my opinion, if your child does unsafe things e.g. going to meet people they met over the internet, then they are either too young or to immature to be using the internet. Parents should teacher there children about sex offenders etc from an early age so they know right from wrong.


As a child i would never have been so irrisponsible.
Reply:There is only one real answer to this and it is a real bummer.....


You have to position the computer somewhere where you can monitor what is going on at all times. Anything else is a cop out. The kids will not appreciate it and would rather have it in their bedroom or some other private place but that is asking for trouble. You either trust them or monitor them!
Reply:I think the problem is the wider society. Magazines and tv shows are becoming increasingly sexualised with people thinking nothing anymore about topless celebrities or sex talked about everywhere, especially by the media. The problem is that kids are thinking that this is perfectly normal and don't want to be seen as uncool by their mates so will gladly talk to complete strangers online and comply to their demands to 'show their ****'. Also, there should be a bigger crackdown on porn websites as these fuel the desires of paedophiles who then use chat rooms and msn messenger to take advantage of young girls and boys.
Reply:To be honest, there is no way you can keep your kids 100% safe online, just as you cannot guarantee their safety in any other aspect of life. We all risk our lives whenever we step outside of the door, and certainly from this point of view, the internet is nothing like as dangerous as the real world.





If you don't ever want your children to see anything inappropriate, do not allow them internet access. It is that simple. If you want to allow your children to take advantage of the many good points of the internet, then you have to educate them, just as you do about the outside world.





Tell them that there are bad people who misrepresent themselves on the internet. Tell them there are inappropriate images, and be there to explain if such material is seen. Do not rely on parental controls or filters. Make sure they know to inform you if they see anything unusual or inappropriate. Make sure they know what this means. Tell them they must never disclose personal info. Anyone who pushes for it is not a friend. If they are too young to understand this, they require supervision.





Relatively speaking, the risks from the internet are tiny.
Reply:First of all I never told my children not to talk to strangers etc. I told them to tell me if they were going with anyone be it friend, neighbour or stranger. Even if they were going to play in a friend's house they had to tell me. It worked!!!





Could something similar be used on-line so that children were encouraged to talk to their parents about what they are doing on-line without the parents being too critical.





Not sure how it would work out these days. Parents have made their children grow up too fast