Men, tell me, do you consider it a turn off if a girl contacts you FIRST?

I'm starting do the whole online dating thing and I saw this one guys profile on this social networking/dating site. I think he is SOOO hot!! : P I sent him and 'friend' request (it's not a friend request per say, I'm just not sure what the website calls them : P ) But I had to because I loved what he wrote on his profile. The thing is though, the site shows your last login, and I noticed he hasn't logged in for a month, keep in mind this a networking AND dating site b/c I'm aware that if he hadn't logged in on a strictly dating site, that may mean he's taken ; ) However, he has his AIM screen name on his page. I was thinking, I haven't the slightest idea when he'll log back on, but I really want to say something, even if I got nothing in return, as the saying goes, you'll never know if you don't try : ) So GUYS, if a girl you didn't know contacted you and said something like "hi, I found your page on so and so and I really liked what you said in your profile" or something...

Men, tell me, do you consider it a turn off if a girl contacts you FIRST?
No, I think it is a good thing that girls reach out first....if a girl reaches out to me first, I would find it flattering.
Reply:No it is hot! nothing hotter than a confident women. IM tired of women using that whole shy thing , you know what shy is just another word for coward. and quite is another word for boring. I like outspoken courageous women , because thats how I am.
Reply:if a girl comes first, it feels great. but watch out for those networking sites. people dont display their real pictures over there mostly.
Reply:Far from it, I would take it as a complement.
Reply:total turn on! i'd be impressed and at least want to stay in touch because it is pretty ballsy for a girl to contact men, and should flatter most men that they caught your eye. go for it.
Reply:Well if it is a genuine case perhaps the guys will response.


However with the proliferation of pornagraphy site, this tends to be some sort of line that these people are using.


So it is really quite a turn off after replying and after that finding alot of return mails or porn web site...





Hope this helps..





take care
Reply:No, it's real flattering and actually makes the girl look like she is on the ball... she goes what she is after. That's impressive.





As a man, in all honesty, it causes you to think that this girl must have something in common with you.





If she just seems like a flirt that does that with everyone, then you discount her real quick.





The problem is that many girls try to cover up their forwardness as though they do it all the time or that they just found the guy a little "interesting." IOW, they appear as they are bored and just looking. Whereas they may really be covering up someone they think is real special so they won't be embarrassed.





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No she doesn't sound desperate unless she acts like she is. It would be better to do something like the following:





I saw your profile on XYZ dating site. I usually don't contact a guy first... in fact, never make the first move, but out of all the profiles that I have read, yours really intrigued me and I felt a connection that has never happened to me before. I hope you will reply so I can get to know you.





So as far as IM, modify the above to come across the same way. If he dumps you before you get started, then he's a loser and game player. An honest and sincere guy is much more aware of the world, society and his surrounding than to play the game of hunter to bag a prize. These are the ones that will never respect you in the least and have all types of confidence issues.
Reply:it would be flattering and make my job easier... lol.. don't believe the BS about men love being the hunter. we get just as nervous and insecure as you gals and sometimes it's nice being pursued also...





i've had someone contact me recently like you mention at the end of your question and honestly my initial reaction was hmmm what's up with this?? like is there something wrong with her. but i replied as i don't want to be rude. luckily she is a few states away, but what harm does chatting do??





just be careful of nut jobs out there...
Reply:Yes, it is desperatly a turn off. All men want to be the ones doing the hard work all the time, every time.





Either that, or we'd be glad of the break.





Which seems more likely?

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