Marriage and Myspace...?

I recently stumbled upon a great deal of answers in M%26amp;D where several women claimed that a married man has no business having a myspace account. My question is Why?





Anyone who thinks that myspace is mostly an online dating site is very uninformed. In a nutshell myspace is a tool for social networking. My fiance has used it to get in contact with several of her old friends from high school. Because of this networking ability, she has been able to reunite with many good friends, %26amp; I have become friends with them too. I have also been able to reach old friends I thought I may never hear from again.





In addition many small time musicians use myspace to help their music reach the general public (radio and MTV cater to record producers and advertisers). Listeners of a certain genre and fans of a certain band can find more music they like that they never would have found without myspace.





My friends %26amp; I benefit from the event planner. It helps organize date planning for parties %26amp; more.

Marriage and Myspace...?
My husband and I both have a Myspace account, he has his own as do I. We have a great marriage and there are no trust issues. He and I both do as we please and contact who we please. I trust him and he trusts me...no questions asked. He found old friends, I also found old friends. Marriage is based on open communication and trust..we have both so there are no issues, ever!
Reply:It depends on the person using my space! There are ways to make it clear that you are not on my space for dating purposes and if you are carful of what kinds of things you have on your page or how you talk to people in the comments, there is nothing wrong with it! Also you can set your page so that people have to be approved by you before anyone can get onto your page! I have a my space and I am married with 3 children! It is fun to be able to keep in contact with people that you don't see often or just putts around on it! You can post pictures so all your friends can see what is going on in your life...how big your kids are getting...what your new hair-cut looks like!! Who ever told you it was not okay for a married man to have a my space account may have some trust issues in his/her life and are very insecure with themselves or there significant other, and if your wife has no problem with it then you are good to go!!
Reply:This is a very good question. The problem is not myspace in itself, it's this primitive idea of "if he married me, why would he need to socialize or contact his friends from high school? Am I not enough?"





Many times men and women look for issues where there are none. You see it with porn as well. So many people are willing to throw the relationship down the drain over little petty issues like a myspace account, or a spouse not giving his email password to his wife, and then comes the question "why would he not show me his password?" and automatically believe there is some cheating going on. It's an issue of not trusting the spouse, and the person not trusting him/herself to be good enough.
Reply:If people want to cheat they can find people to do it with any place online or off...myspace isn't any more of a villian than any other website.





I can see an issue with one's partner having profiles on sites that are primarily used for dating, but social sites like myspace, hi5, netrelate, and others shouldn't be an issue (unless the person is using them for inappropriate contact).





It basically comes down to an issue of trust...how much do you trust your partner to keep online contacts at an appropriate level, and not cyber with others or use the sites to set up clandestine meetings. Someone who would do those things, won't be deterred by lack of a page on myspace...
Reply:i feel like any guy who is marriage wants a myspace it should be okay...i know many guys who have them and are married and do not even associate with most of the women on there they just have them on their friend list....I have one and I am married and dont even talk to hardly anyone on there.
Reply:i think you could still you myspace no problem at all. as long as no flirting and stuff like that
Reply:if you have a private profile and your spouse knows about it, then I see no problem. You are right, it is a wonderful way to keep up with old friends. And I've seen many couples post their wedding pictures on there- can't see how that would make a wife feel like he was looking for someone new :)
Reply:I aggree. My fiance and I are always arguing about myspace. I have an account and it has helped me to connect with so many good friends from the past. And stay in touch with new friends. He has the notion that anyone over 20 who uses myspace is a looser. I try to tell him how wrong he is but its just no use :( I think sometimes that he is jealous about it.
Reply:There is nothing wrong with being on my space, just be truthful and upfront about why you are on there and don't pass yourself off as something you are not.
Reply:I have a My Space account and so does my husband. I personally use it to connect with friends and people that I graduated from high school with 12 years ago. Everybody has moved on with their lives, but it is good to see what people look like, their kids, their families, their interests, etc. I mean, I think people do use My Space to flirt and find relationships, however, if you are married then you should know better than to be doing all of that. I see nothing wrong with a married person being on My Space as long as they are on there for the right reason. Also, I think they should have their profile set to married and they should only be on there for friends and networking, in my opinion.
Reply:I have no problem with a MySpace profile as long as it isn't shady ... like hidden, with a "single" or "married but looking" designation.





The problem: a lot of women/men find a spouse with a hidden page that doesn't mention their married status. THAT is an issue.
Reply:Its not that myspace is bad, its what it allows people to do. Myspace and other chat,online forums make it so easy for people to connect and do things they wouldn't normally do. Truthfully, married people or someone in a relationship are probably better off setting it to private to avoid any potential problems. Your friends and people you want can still add you as friends. These online forums have helped caused alot of mis-trust and broken up many relationships. Yes, myspace can be good, if used the right way.
Reply:Well it can be a great forum, no doubt, but people are going to use it the way they see fit, and plenty of them use it for purposes other than the 'up and up.' However, that's a personal, marriage issue, not the responsibility of the forum. If people get on there to flirt, then they are missing something in their marriage, or just basically uncaring and selfish. That's why I spend a lot of time flirting with and admiring my man, he doesn't need to get attention any where else.
Reply:I'm married and I use myspace to keep up with friends i don't see much anymore. No flirting, no cheating!